feeling

Feels that heals

Words to heal feelings
Yet the words hold no meaning

I keep dreaming
I keep on believing
But the mind can be deceiving

Meditation is for the receiving
Grace, the true spark of healing

Where is my place
Right in this space
Though, I feel like a fricken nut case

While the past, I try to unlace
And to stand and face
No more racing away
But I’ll save hope for another day

Today the waves of emotion
Have carried me away

Say goodbye to my face
All familiarity is being erased

Drowning in waves, bring me to shore

I’m dying
And I don’t feel like crying anymore
Rivers have grown into seas
And I cannot see through the waves

Over and over again
The same thoughts run through my head
I think things must now come to end

Rotting pieces, falling pieces
All the pieces I now see are dead and meaningless
I walk around with them now, sleepless

Still to come
Wondering what this is
Leave me alone while I hide
Love is over,
There’s no reason to be shy

I hate when I’m treated like I know nothing
Because I know some things
I know death
I know pain
Pain that could drive any being insane

This pain, I see illusion,
They are all the same
These boys and girls are so vain
Where is the truth
Spoken through the youth
Slow down see what they do
The brave hearts know
They will save us too

Me, here, now, with and without

It takes time
Moments
Receptivity
An openness to simply be
Riding each wave as it crashes against my soul
Here, just let go
There is no way to know
Cognitively, what will momentarily become of me
Clinging to fragments of what could, would be
If I were a perfect version of me

But these demons, my old friends, continue to haunt me
Drag me back to my worst memory
The past moments I haven’t learnt to set free
Instead, wrapping it around me
Infecting everything I see

The demons are a never healed part of me,
Holding me back from what could be
Should be, instead of this constant hatred of me.

I will look you, my friends, straight in the eyes
Sit down, chill out, and take off the disguise
Tell me who you are
What you see
Please tell me what you would have me know
If you are to ever let me go
I just want to let you go

Heaviness of livin

The magnitude of attitude
Self consciousness dilutes
Simmers a weak souls soup

Some days I wish I could just ran away
From every feeling, every thought
Hide from being
The intensity of life lived authentically
I want to fall back,
Put the covers over me

So scared the powerful won’t view me
As an integral part of society
Used to being used and abused
How can I be confident and true to me
How can I harness the power to see
To breathe without anxiety haunting me?