Dearest Mah

I believe In the hoping part of me
The me who is just beginning to see
I’m so done running from me
Sick of this internal animosity

Hard to distinguish each part of me
To my loves, I’m deeply sorry

Heavy sorrow, I hold on to, I can’t let go
It’s all I have ever known
This is what my mama was shown
Mama, this is how we have grown.

But now we’re both gaining years
And we’re still carrying around toxic tears
It’s driven us insane
These years and years of accumulated pain.

Can we look inside and see that it’s not true?
Can we look each-other in they eyes,
Can we see the beauty shining through?

But the walls around your heart
They continue to grow
I’m afraid your true self
You will never have known.

It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do
To heal me so we could heal you too.

To help release you from your inner demons
So you could see that no one else sees them.

But, today, I’m afraid I’m too far gone
My soul can’t find the words to sing its song
My voice is short, hallow, and meek.
Devoid of enlightenment, devoid of heat.

Passion deadened by shame
Sadness, this heavy rain.

Mama, will things always remain the same?